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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hitch a Ride Out of Sucksville

Ever been to Sucksville? Yea, me too.  Right now I have a wave of friends who are there now or have seen the signs, Sucksville next stop. Some of their situations are physical, some are financial, some are spiritual and they allI suck. I love and care about all of these people.  I started to craft an email to one of them after we talked today and I thought, Hey, I bet other people have situations that suck, maybe this should be a blog post.
This is sort of a summary of my experiences that I've written about in Lessons from the Recession. They're the things that have gotten me out of other sucky situations too. 

So here goes, the first 7 steps to Hitch a Ride Out of Sucksville.

1. No wallowing. Yes, the situation sucks. No need to wallow, whine, whimper. 

Ok, that's unrealistic, you get a day.  One day to wail like a baby and get it out of your system.  Do it now and get it over with because we've got work to do.

2. Put on your Man Pants. Or your Big Girl pants, whichever works for you.  It's likely going to take some strength to get you on the other side of the suckiness.  Find it. Don't ask someone else to give it to you. This isn't a time to look to your husband, your brother, your mother to give you the strength. Find it in yourself.  You've got it, God gave it to you.  I promise you it's in there.  It may be buried under some stuff but it's there. Time to declutter and find it.

Let me clarify, this doesn't mean to completely go it alone, we'll get to that in #  5 and # 7  .

3. Decide.  There's a ton of power in decision.  Be careful about what you decide.  There's two paths in decision. You can decide that this is going to continue to suck. Or you can decide to deal with it and get to a better spot. You can start by deciding not to whine.  You can decide to take on the cancer treatments, decide to find a financial planner and get debt free.  You know what sucks about your life, now decide what you want to focus on.  I can absolutely guarantee that if you decide to focus on the problem it will get bigger.  If you decide to focus on the solution, it will get better.  This isn't for wimps. Decision is a big deal.

4. Grab a pen, or a crayon, or that ugly eyeliner you bought on sale.  This section comes right out of Michael Losier's book, Law of Attraction.     I don't know Mike and I certainly didn't get paid to refer his book, not that I'd be opposed to that if he calls.  I have used this book and it's made a huge difference.  The Dummies version is this, quit focusing on what you don't want, with your mind, and your words. Start to obsess about what you do want. Write this stuff down! You can read the book to get the rest. It's a quick read with some "workbooky" kind of stuff.

5. Feed yourself well.  Got to feed yourself with the right nutrition, relation and information.

Nutrition:  I'm a huge fan of a great glass of wine or a mean margarita, just be careful.  You know where I'm going with this right? If you're already feeling sucky, the poor pitful me can be waiting at the bottom of that glass or bag of chips.

Relation:  They say you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.  Take some inventory of what that math equation looks like for you.  You may need a tutor or two to step in right now.  Look around that small circle, if all you see is Whiney Wilma and Negative Nelly, time to move up the relational food chain a bit.  You don't need 'poor baby' friends right now.  You need a swat team to keep you focused on strength and solution.

Information:  Saddle up some good inspirational stuff beside your US Weekly on the nightstand. Feed your heart and your brain with stuff that helps.  The size of J Lo's butt is interesting but not helpful right now.

6. Lessons in the Suckage. You don't learn much when things are all sun shine and roses.  You learn when the thorn pricks you through your pink gardening gloves.  You learn when things suck.  The sooner you go looking for the lesson, the sooner you can move past it to the good stuff, then you're better equiped for what happens next. 

7. Guess who the Teacher is?  Yea, you knew we'd get here right?  The Big Man Upstairs has been watching you stumble around like a 3 legged blind dog and He's just waiting on you to acknowledge that He's really calling the shots. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute...(insert sound of brakes grinding to a halt and tires screeching) 

You might be thinking something like this.....

I thought I was putting on my Big Girl Pants and then Planning and Deciding, I thought this was about ME!

Now you're going all God on me. 

Yea.  I am.

Last time I checked, you weren't doing so hot on this little issue that sucks.  You need a Father, a Keeper, a Teacher.  Don't be too proud to pray.  He's got the road map to get you out of Sucksville, as long as you aren't too proud to ask for directions. 

Look, I'm no Prayer Popstar.  I don't have a degree from Prayer School International.  I'm sure there are some classes and books on how to do it "right".  I don't think that's the point.  Just do it. 

Maybe start with something like this...
Dear Lord, this sucks, please help me out of Sucksville.

Do that for a couple of days until you get more comfortable and then move to something like this...

Hey, I'm sorry it's been awhile since I gave you a jingle.  I know you've been outside my door the whole time like a stalker waiting for me to wake up.  Thanks for waiting. Wanna grab some coffee and chat?

And then maybe something like this....

Ok, ok, I get it, you're the driver, I'm the passenger. Now, can we please find a way out of Sucksville?
I promise not to reach over and grab the wheel while you drive anymore.  And, could you step on it, it's hot in here and I have to pee. 

These are just a few suggestions, you certainly have your own versions. 

As you can tell, I'm no expert at much, but I've been to Sucksville a couple of times and have found this is the smoothest way out.  You can take the windy, rocky, cliff route if you want, but I'm hitching a ride.