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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Swamp Girl and Whiny Boy

For those of you RandomThinkers that log on for a daily dose of RandomThoughts that have some nutrituional value, this is not the post for you.  This post is the equivalant of a bag of potato chips, 2 Little Debbies and glass of wine.  This post is indulgent, not very good for you, but kinda fun and will likely leave you with a bit of indigestion.

This post is about The Bachelor.

Yes, The Bachelor.  I just lost half of you knowing that.  Oh well, I must continue.

Yes, I watch bad TV and sadly three days past the final rose I'm still thinking about Jake the whiner and Swamp Girl.  Yes, you're right, I shouldn't be calling people names but if you agree to be on a show like that you better be ready to blogged, Tweeted, FB'd and water coolered. This is mine.

Why I think Jake the whiner picked Swamp Girl ......

My take on Jake. 

Jake has been the pursuer for years.  Trying to find girls that will date him and not leave because he's a nice guy and a whiner with really annoying facial expressions.

Why Tenley wasn't a fit. 

Jake didn't want to deal with the nice girl. He knew he'd need to heal her heart and all kinds of emotionally exhausting issues. And can you imagine the whiny kids that would come from that union? Shoot me now.

And mostly because Tenley was compared to Swamp Girl.

Swamp Girl was hungry like a wolf. (Or an alligator)

Swamp Girl was willing to bow down to Jake in more ways than I can cover in this sorta family friendly blogosphere.  Swamp Girl was perfectly happy to be the hot fun girl with no real emotional baggage other than the weird Dad relationship. Swamp Girl is dang happy to leave her hip waders and get out of Swampville. Now Jake can sit back, relax, and finally be pursued instead of pursuing. "Bring me my swampwater, Baby, you know I like it when your one eye looks at me from around the corner."

This makes Jake feel all manly. And now Swamp Girl can afford a good hair colorist. The tattoo and lazy eye are going to be a little more difficult.


I don't really, well kinda, it's just interesting. Like road kill.  You can't NOT look.

(I told you you'd feel kinda yucky at the end. I'm still participating in my #28DayChallenge to write a post a day for 28 days. Content and inspiration gets a little 'thin' some days. Blame @thescottbishop for this swampy mess)

Coming soon to ABC