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Friday, June 4, 2010

Stupid TV

I went to 2nd Grade Field Day at Small Town USA Primary School today. This is a BIG deal. Lunches were packed. The right color shirt worn by kids and old-timers like me. All a well orchestrated and coordinated pre-game.  There was prep and planning like Spring Training in Florida.

After kickball and tug o war and every other sweat-making kid game known to high humidity mid western families, it was time for lunch.  We packed a lunch so I guessed we weren't heading to cafeteria hell.  This day was special.  I asked a couple of the kids where we were having lunch.  No one seemed to know.  I pictured maybe the shady tree out back but that'd be hard for the hoards of wheel chair grandmas that show up for field day.  Honestly, I'm not sure that many grandparents came to my high school graduation.

So we ended up having our sack lunches in the classroom.  Really? I wouldn't have bought the good turkey if I'd known it would be eaten sitting on the same chair that Spelling Tests are given.  This was special sack lunch day!  I adjusted and settled in, sharing a chair the size of a cock-a-poo with my sweaty-haired baby girl. Man, I love that girl.

Half way through our zip-lock bag of chips and turkey on wheat, heavy on the mayo, I strike up a fascinating conversation with Luke across the table.  Luke has a deep infatuation of the military, driven by his grandpa that died at 107 years old.  He loves tanks and army men and museums his parents have endured to fuel his healthy passion.  Luke lights up talking about tanks like I do thinking about a new season of The Bachlorette.

Then there's Hayden.  Hayden eats peanut butter with NO JELLY!  Whoa, kid what's that about? We struck up a healthy debate about the need for a life with jelly and how he is surviving one without it. Not even on his toast! Fascinating!

The two Alex's can't wait to weigh in on our debate.  We're learning about each other and envying each other depending on if your mom let you come with the cardinal sin of a caffeinated drink.

Then it happens..... mid chip .... mid Mountain Dew swig .... mid military tank debate ....... all things come to a screeching, mind numbing, sugar fueled staring halt. Mrs. Really Good Teacher turns on the STUPID TV!

Like a moth to a flame they all go into a trance from their 143rd viewing of Lady and the Tramp version 23.  Seriously?  These kids have seen this movie more times than Luke's grandpa lived!  I watch it happen. Each one of these bright eyed Gifts from God shuts down their conversation to stare at the little black box perched in the corner, above the tissue paper sun.

Luke and I are still having our Nazi tank discussion which is far more interesting than those annoying animated dogs.  And get this! The other kids are "shooshing" us for trying to TALK through their movie!!!!  I resist the urge to stage a movement and solidify my daughters fate in therapy for more money than college and force myself to just sip my coke and eat my chip crumbs while highly paid actors do the voice overs for animated dogs until it's time for the next activity.

Stupid Stupid Stupid TV.