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Monday, September 28, 2009

I'm not Prepared

The parenting punch hit me right in the gut this weekend. The true reality of how darned hard it is to raise good kids hit me in my heart, my head and my gut. While we're busy cooking, cleaning, working and folding socks, kids are growing and learning and making decisions. Some right, some not so right. If we're not paying attention, things are going to get interesting. I wish I could hit a pause button on my kids once in awhile and just breath.

I've never been one of those moms that pureed organic babyfood or only allowed them to watch the science channel. I've always believed in keeping things balanced and fairly normal. Of course my mom let me eat cake for breakfast so maybe my idea of normal is a little wacked.

We live in small town USA in the middle of the midwest and still things are hard.

Should they watch this TV show?

Should they ride the bus and listen to what the older kids are saying and teaching them?

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

I had a chat with my girl and her BFF this weekend about listening to your gut. They are both on the fringe of being 8 and they're already being exposed to some things that I'm not ready for.

I asked them if they ever have that funny feeling in their gut. The one that kinda feels like they are doing the wrong thing. I told them, that is God's way of taking care of them when their Mom and Dad isn't around. The funny feeling is God saying, "come on, you don't want to go there."

I also reminded them that if one of their friends says, "come on, we won't get caught." That's a sure sign that they are in some dangerous territory and the best bet is to get out of that situation. And finally, never to be the one saying, "Come on, we won't get caught, because they are taking their friends down with them."

I feel desperate to prepare them to make good decisions and understand about their choices and consequences, yet I'm not sure any of what I do or say is right.

I'm praying and listening to my gut.

I think.

Yet, when I think critically about it, I know there is a ton I could do better.

I put my parent radar on high alert this weekend and I don't think I'll come down until they're picking and paying for my nursing home.

Crap, this job scares me.