Like it? Then share it. *please*

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Good Gone Bad

You know what sucks, when something you're really good at, is actually a bad thing.  Ask my best friend Ann. We've been friends since I was 15.  I was good at drinking, even the warm beer, her warm beer. So she'd drink all but the last two drinks and I'd finish my beer and hers.  My first shot at recycling I guess.  Remember, I'm more than half redneck.  Don't judge me, we didn't even have a movie theater.

You know the other thing I'm really good at?

Sarcasm. I'm like blue ribbon at the County Fair good. I'm like Sammy Hagar fronting Van Halen good.

I'm not only good at it, it comes so naturally, I can hardly "not" do it.  Remember vintage Ally McBeal when she had the bubble thoughts above her head?  I have those.  I have to bat them away and clear my head before they leak out of my bubble back into my head and out my mouth......constantly.  Sometimes I even giggle to myself about an all-star sarcastic comment that I refrain from saying out loud. 

Why would I refrain when it's my "rock the house" skill?

 Because it can be really really bad.

Well the shit of it is, here's the definition of sarcasm and worse yet, the latin origin.

 sar⋅casm  /ˈsɑrkæzəm/ [sahr-kaz-uhm]

  –noun 1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.

2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.

1570–80; < LL sarcasmus < Gk sarkasmós, deriv. of sarkázein to rend (flesh), sneer;
So, there it is.  The thing I'm really good at means to "rip at ones flesh".  Which totally sucks.  You don't get on Letterman for being good at ripping at flesh. In fact, shouldn't you probably be hauled into the slammer for that?
The first time I heard this from a colleague, I sunk in despair.  Just like when I realized that all that beer did not make my Guess jeans look so hot either. WTH.  These clearly weren't God given talents, they were the crap I picked up on my own along the way.  I'm pretty sure there's no special spot in heaven next to the good wine and the cheese plate for teenage warm beer drinkers and flesh rippers extraordinaire.
Guess I better spend some time honing some of the other talents I have.